Every friendship will change along with time,
The strong bonds you have will wither and die.
Moments you share will not be like their prime,
When times of confiding will not apply.
There will be nothing more than the past’s thrill,
Some forced smiles and unrefined glares.
You’ll watch her mature as you remain still
Knowing you’re the only one who still cares.
At the park you played in, you’ll remember the name,
When you hear that song, you’ll remember the voice.
In your mind- that forgotten “Forever” claim
Then you'll question; by fate or by choice?
Yes, friendships will change as your days get longer,
But not all friendships go amiss, some get stronger.
<3
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If this were an animal I think it would be a Wolf, this is because we think of Wolves as lonely but in reality they aren't, kind of how we think sonnets are supposed to have pentameters but this one doesn't. The line that stands out the most to me is "by fate or by choice" because we all like to think that something happened because we made a choice if the result is good but if it's bad we say it's fate. So it's only reasonable for that question to come up. What stands out to me is "as days get longer" because I would think that as you grow the days go by faster and so longer would be like some evil or wrong has happened.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I LOVE THE TITLE, and this poem is amazing! I can relate to this poem, and I think that most people can because everyone has friendships that have not worked out and other friendships that are very successful. This might be weird, but the image that I see the most is an old woman in a playground with her children thinking about an old friendship that she had. Yeah, I know it is weird, but don't judge me :)
ReplyDeleteKara,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Amanda. This is a very relatable poem. There's such a nice rhythm to the language. I think the villanelle form works really well for this concept. I don't have any advice for how to change it; it's really good!
hey, i love the title, its hillarious... also i realy like the poem and find it very relatable.. like everyones gone through these things, and yet it seems personal, which is realy nice,,, the villenelle form definatly fit your style...the poem reminds me of a norwall..lol
ReplyDeleteHEYY(=
ReplyDeletethis was really good; you manage to hit a lot of deep spots that get the reader to stop and reflect for a moment about the message you're trying to convey, while also keeping this passive, shallow tone that allows the reader not to fall too far into the pessimistic depths of your poem and get caught up in the messy ramifications of your theme and motifs. You're rhymes work really well- If i had to compare this poem to an animal, I'd probably choose a narwhale due to the fact that it's so intricate and complicated at the core, yet so common and frequent in our everyday lives.
Keep writing! (= <3456789